Missing You
by half-goddess-Katia
Summary: It's a quiet night in Tokyo and two people are unable to sleep. This is a take on Ran's thoughts about Shinichi. The second chapter will be about Shinichi's thoughts about Ran.
1. My All

My All

Disclaimer: I don't own the anime "Case Closed" or any related characters. I also don't own the song "My All." "Case Closed" is published by Viz. "My All" is owned by Mariah Carey and all related companies.

Please read and review, this is my first "Case Closed" fan fic. And this will **hopefully** be a two parter.

** On with the story**

It was a dark, quiet in Tokyo. It was the kind of peaceful night that made you want to take advantage of the rare quiet moment and sleep peacefully. Two people, however, were not sleeping peacefully, in fact neither was sleeping at all. They were Ran Mouri and Conan Edogawa, a.k.a. Shinichi Kudo.

Currently, Ran was sitting in her room near her window, staring out at the night sky with a distracted look on her face it was clear her thought were a million miles away. Specifically, she was thinking about Shinichi Kudo, never know how close to him she actually was.

_I am thinking of you_

_In my sleepless solitude tonight_

_If it's wrong to love you_

_Then my heart just won't let me be right_

'_Cause I'm drowned in you_

_And I won't pull through_

_Without you by my side _

'Oh, Shinichi,' Ran thought longingly while her vacant gaze stared out into the lighted night of Tokyo. 'Where are you? I know you say you're on a big case, but surely no case could stump you this long. I miss you Shinichi, I wish you could come back.

'I had taken for granted that you were always by my side. I pushed my feelings for you away. I always thought, I can tell him tomorrow, I will tell him soon. I never expected you to disappear like that. I knew you shouldn't have followed those men that night! Why did you have to follow them? Couldn't you just let that on mystery slide by without a passing glance?'

_I'd give my all to have_

_Just one more night with you_

_I'd risk my life to feel_

_Your body next to mine_

'_Cause I can't go on_

_Living in a memory of our song_

_I'd give my all for your love tonight_

'I need to see you, Shinichi. I don't care if it's only for a day, an hour, a minute, as long as I could actually see you again. I know you tell me you're fine when you call, but I need to reassure myself that you actually aren't hurt, that you are healthy. I need that minute to tell you that I do love you, that you were my first and only love. I wouldn't care about the consequences as long as I could finally tell you what's been bottled up inside me for the longest time.

'I've actually dreamed that you have come back several times. I dreamed I got to tell you that I love you. I dreamed of our happy life afterward because you loved me too. But I've also had nightmares Shinichi. I have horrible nightmares. Ones where you were found murdered on a mountain somewhere, months dead. That someone was pretending to be you just for some sick joke. That I would never see you again, ever.'

_Baby can you feel me_

_Imagining I'm looking in your eyes_

_I can see you clearly_

_Vividly emblazoned in my mind_

_And yet you're so far_

_Like a distant star_

_I'm wishing on tonight_

'Every time I get mixed up in a mystery, I wish you were here. And it's almost as if you are. I didn't believe that my dad, much as I love him, could solve half the cases he's managed to since you disappeared. And Sonoko as well, she may be one of my best friends, but she's no Sherlock Holmes. But they both seem to be able to solve cases with such ease, and both look like they're asleep when they announce the criminal, motive, and how they managed to do it. All since you disappeared and the little kid we now foster in our home appeared.

'And that's another odd thing, I can't seem to help seeing Shinichi in Conan. Every time he gets that intense look in his eye, I can't help but seeing the physical resemblance between the two of you. And you think alike too. I know he says that you teach him how to deduce things, but I can't help but think about the impossible notion that he is Shinichi, and if he is why can't he just come forward with it. And if he's not, why do I keep seeing Shinichi in him. Perhaps I've just not seen him for too long. I've heard his voice, yes, but that's not enough.'

_I'd give my all to have_

_Just one more night with you_

_I'd risk my life to feel_

_Your body next to mine_

'_Cause I can't go on_

_Living in a memory of our song_

_I'd give my all for your love tonight_

Ran started as she felt tears hit the back of her hand. She brought her hand up to her cheek as was surprised to feel that her cheek was nearly soaked. She hadn't even realized that she was crying, much less crying so hard.

"Stupid," she muttered to herself, picking up a tissue from the box on the floor beside her and using it to wipe off her face. She couldn't believe that she'd been crying that hard. She knew that Shinichi was safe, she'd talked to him herself, and Conan had said that he'd seen him and he seemed perfectly fine.

Suddenly a quiet voice came from her doorway, bringing her out of her thoughts. "Ran-nee chan?" It was Conan. He was standing there with a concerned and saddened look on his face. Ran hadn't known Conan long, but she knew that he hated to see her sad for any reason.

Ran smiled slightly as she gestured for Conan to come in, and he did. He walked over to her and gave her as good a hug as he could, considering he was less than half her height. Ran picked him up and put him on her lap. She hugged him close, knowing that it would help calm both of them. She didn't know why it calmed her, but he always seemed better when she was over her distress.

As Ran slowly fell asleep with Conan still in her lap, she could've sworn she heard one muttered phrase, but dismissed it as her imagination, but she could've sworn for one moment before she fell asleep that she heard Shinichi's voice muttering, "I'm sorry."

_Give my all for your love_  
_Tonight_

AN: So, what do you think? Please read and review. I hope to get the other half out soon, I just gotta find the right song.


	2. I'm Sorry

I'm Sorry

Disclaimer for this Ch: I don't own the song "I'm sorry." It is owned by All 4 One and all connected companies. I also don't own "Case Closed/Detective Conan" it is published by Viz in America.

Please read and review the second half of "Missing You."

This particular spring night in Tokyo was very peaceful. In fact, it was the type of night that most people would take advantage of and get a night of rest where they wouldn't wake up with a new murder or robbery appearing on the news. All but two people of Tokyo were taking advantage of this night. Those two people are Ran Mouri and Conan Edogawa, a.k.a. Shinichi Kudo.

At this moment, Conan was standing in the doorway to Ran's room, watching as the silent girl stared out into the night, her gaze seeming millions of miles away. In fact, Conan knew exactly where her thoughts lay. Very little could bring that sad a look to the normally cheery girl's face, and he felt horrible that his regular identity's, Shinichi Kudo's, current missing status was one of those things. He thoughts were also running circles in his head.

_I know I was wrong_

_For treating you the way I did (the way I did)_

_I have so much on my mind_

_I didn't know where you fit in (where you fit in)_

_And if I could do it all over again (again)_

_I'll never treat you that way (I'll never treat you that way again)_

_I apologize for the pain I caused_

_And I just wanna say (I just wanna say)_

_I'm sorry (I'm sorry)_

_So sorry (so sorry)_

_For leaving you the way I did_

'Oh Ran,' Conan thought, staring sadly at the young girl. He remembered how it was when he had been Shinichi, and he regretted a lot of what he did now. He regretted just paying attention to the mysteries he loved so much. He occupied his mind completely with them, trying to shut out the confusing feelings he had been getting about his best friend.

_When I close my eyes_

_I think of how I used to be (used to be)_

_That's when I realized_

_Just how much you mean to me (you mean to me)_

_A second chance is all that I need (I need)_

_To change what's wrong and make it right (to change what's wrong and make it right)_

_A fool I was to let you slip away (away)_

_When I know I need you in my life (need you in my life)_

'I remember how I used to think of telling you how I felt, but I always put it off. I kept saying that I would tell you tomorrow. I thought that since we were always together I would always have another chance to tell you how I felt. But now I'm trapped in this body, I can't do anything about my feelings. I can't tell you over the phone, it wouldn't be fair to tell you that. Not only would I not be able to see you at that time, but I have no idea when I might get my original body back. I don't know if it'll be a day, a month, a year, or years from now.'

_I'm sorry (I'm sorry)_

_So sorry (so sorry)_

_For treating you the way I did (I didn't mean to hurt you baby)_

_I'm sorry (I'm sorry)_

_So sorry (so sorry)_

_For leaving you the way I did_

'I remember when I didn't tell you who I was the first time I saw you as Conan. I had been afraid. I hadn't wanted you to see me like that. And from then on, I became more afraid for you as I learned more about the Black Organization. Now I can't tell you, as much as I want to. If I do, you would be in even more danger. Especially if they figured out how important you were to me.'

_And I know every time (every time)_

_Every time I treated you unkind (so unkind)_

_You still gave your best to me (to me)_

_I'll do anything to get you back into my life_

_I need to hold you again (hold you)_

_Kiss you again (kiss you)_

_Make love to you (love you)_

_And I'll do it again (to you)_

_Listen to me (listen to me)_

_I'm down on my knees (down on my knees)_

_Can we start over again (can we start over)_

'I've disproved you every time you come close figuring out who I really am for that reason. I don't want you to be hurt, or worse, killed. I know now that they would not be afraid or hesitant to hurt a loved one to get to their target.

'I love you Ran, but I can't tell you. I hate watching and hearing you cry as often as you do. I want to comfort you, let you know that I am here. I want to be able to take you in my arms and wipe away your tears as Shinichi, not as Conan. I want to make you happy again.'

_I'm sorry (I'm sorry)_

_So sorry (so sorry)_

_For treating you the way I did (I didn't mean to hurt you baby)_

_I'm sorry (I'm sorry)_

_So sorry (so sorry)_

_For leaving you the way I did_

_You gotta believe me when I say that_

_I'm sorry (so sorry)_

_So sorry_

_For treating you (for treating you the way I did)_

_I'll never, never, never hurt you again_

_I'm sorry (so sorry)_

_For leaving you (for leaving you the way I did)_

_I'm sorry baby_

Conan watched sadly as he saw Ran start and then move her hand to wipe tears off her face. From her expression it was obvious that she hadn't noticed she was crying. He heard her mutter something quietly as she picked up a tissue to wipe the tears off her face. Deciding that he'd stood there long enough, he needed to comfort her now.

"Ran-nee chan?" Conan said quietly. He saw her start slightly when he said that, she obviously hadn't noticed him there. After a moment she smiled a watery smile and gestured for him to come it. He moved over to her and gave her the best hug he could. He really hated this body at times. Ran picked him up and placed him on her lap, hugging him close. He felt better to see that his presence seemed to calm her.

As he saw her fall asleep, he couldn't help but say the one phrase that he wished he could tell her as himself. "I'm sorry."

AN: And that's the second chapter. Please review and tell me what you think.


End file.
